|草泥马| 发表于 2011-8-1 14:50   全显示 1楼
为什么我看此文脑中却兴不起太多H感呢？总感觉有些乱，且不说排版上的问题，人物及事件描写的角度，感觉有时是从女主角一方出发，却用的第三人称的手法，有时有时完全第三人称的角度，却带有第一人称的效果。 略有些不顺畅。
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